Dreams as reality

Lately I've been thinking about what it means to emotionally complete a task. While describing a dream I recently had, it occurred to me that emotional completion is pretty powerful. An excellent example--think about those dreams you have where you complete a task. When you awake, don't you feel as if you've done all the work? And don't you also feel the other related and appropriate emotions, whether they are excitement, sadness, satisfaction, etc.? Think of a simple dream where you bake cookies. In the dream you go through all the fun as well as annoying tasks related to making cookies--you mix the batter, patiently wait 12 minutes for each batch to bake, wash the dishes, and all the while you anticipate the joy of savoring the first cookie. When you awake, you are still excited about eating this cookie later, until you realize, it was all a dream. And then you're a little upset. Because you went through all the annoying parts of making a cookie, and even though it was only in your dream, emotionally you physically made them and that feeling is just as real as if you had made the cookies in waking life.

In a different dream, imagine that you break up with your significant other---you painstakingly plan what you'll say, you take a deep breath and feel nervous, you start the conversation hoping it will go well, you feel the pain afterwards, and then you wake up to find out you only broke up in your dreams. Ah! Imagine the discouragement. Putting aside for a moment the fact that you still need to tell your significant other that they have been dumped, aren't you emotionally satisfied, aren't you done with the relationship? Other than the relaying of information that needs to take place, your psyche has taken care of the rest.

As I pondered this phenomenon, I began to realize that the power behind emotional task completion could perhaps be used in other scenarios to the benefit of one's waking life. All those worries we could emotionally complete and put behind us? Perhaps that's what forgiveness is about--without an apology or action from the other person, we ourselves emotionally let go? Or more simply with vices--eating chocolate, drinking, watching TV--we could emotionally let ourselves have some, but not actually indulge and feel just as fulfilled, perhaps more so since we know we didn't give in. Interestingly enough, I recently watched an episode of Ally McBeal, where one of the characters used to drink 3 martinis everyday after work. It became a detriment to his life so instead he would go to the same bar, order the 3 martinis, but instead of drinking them, he would imagine drinking them and imagine the relaxation he used to experience while he drank them. Essentially, he emotionally drank them, and that is all the character really needed.

What girls want to hear (and know that you mean it)

I like everything about this new artist (so far). At first, it was the voice and sound that caught my attention--clear and simple. Then I switched my screen over to Pandora to see who it was and the title caught my eye. "The Guy that Says Goodbye to You is Out of His Mind". What a wonderful, compliment of a title-- I can picture someone saying this with a little, honest frustration. I really hope this artist isn't just a guy trying to sound sentimental, but rather needed to sing this song. The lyrics are below. Enjoy! (And kudos to the artist Griffin House...)

You don’t need to change a thing about you babe I’m telling you From where I sit, you’re one of a kind Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work you and they make you cry But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind Well I been down and I need your help I’ve been feeling sorry for myself Don’t hesitate to boost my confidence I been lost and I need direction, I could use a little love-protection What do you say, honey, come to my defense? I’ll stand up for you if it’s what you need and I can take a punch, I don’t mind to bleed As long as afterwards you feel bad for me And you give me all of your attention I got deep desire and it needs quenchin’ I think that’s pretty plain for you to see Hell, enough about me and more about you cause that’d be the gentlemanly thing to do I hope you like your men sweet and polite I thought I was done with telling you but I ain’t nearly halfway through I got a few more things I’d like to say to you tonight You don’t need to change a thing about you babe I’m telling you From where I sit you’re one of a kind Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work out and they make you cry But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind You always did kind of drive me crazy and pissed me off ‘cause I let it faze me But I never wanted my time with you to end Now I’m back in town for a day or two and mostly I came back just to see you I’m leaving now but I don’t want to go You don’t need to change a thing about you babe I’m telling you From where I sit you’re one of a kind Relationships, I don’t know why, they never work out and they make you cry But the guy that says goodbye to you is out of his mind

Un peu de musique!

Life is certainly not as exciting without music. My most recent discovery was the French pop artist Yelle--very fun! Enjoy this fun, euro-synth-pop video for her song "Ce Jeu" about dating games.

Thinking about life without music...Afganistan hasn't had a live music concert since the 1970s, when they were banned! Today, the first one since then was held in secret!

Intentional Adulthood

It sounds silly, but at 27 I've just now come to terms with the fact that I'm an adult. Three years away from 30, it's difficult to deny. Sure, I've been paying rent for years, feeding myself for years, paying for car insurance, been the one to answer to regarding complaints and questions of health and happiness, gone to work responsibly. Yet, I somehow managed to continue seeing myself as a kid, under my parents' ultimate jurisdiction. If I messed up or was in some way unhappy the last five years, I would subconsciously have turned to blame my parents. It was a comment from my cousin, whom I fondly call "elder cousin" (even though she is 5 days older than me), that jarringly brought this reality to my attention. Perhaps I should blame her now, huh? 

But seriously, how funny that I was able to live for five years, if not longer, without facing this obvious contradiction. I wonder had elder cousin said nothing how long I would see myself as a child? And think of the impact this perspective must have had on my life in these past five years. It's almost laughable. I feel the new freedom to be an intentional adult. Choices are not being made for me either way, so why not embrace them! Sure, some are hard, but I'm pretty sure that's never going to change and life can only be more fulfilling with a little intentionality.

Here's to a new brand of adulthood!