Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dreams as reality

Lately I've been thinking about what it means to emotionally complete a task. While describing a dream I recently had, it occurred to me that emotional completion is pretty powerful. An excellent example--think about those dreams you have where you complete a task. When you awake, don't you feel as if you've done all the work? And don't you also feel the other related and appropriate emotions, whether they are excitement, sadness, satisfaction, etc.? Think of a simple dream where you bake cookies. In the dream you go through all the fun as well as annoying tasks related to making cookies--you mix the batter, patiently wait 12 minutes for each batch to bake, wash the dishes, and all the while you anticipate the joy of savoring the first cookie. When you awake, you are still excited about eating this cookie later, until you realize, it was all a dream. And then you're a little upset. Because you went through all the annoying parts of making a cookie, and even though it was only in your dream, emotionally you physically made them and that feeling is just as real as if you had made the cookies in waking life.
In a different dream, imagine that you break up with your significant other---you painstakingly plan what you'll say, you take a deep breath and feel nervous, you start the conversation hoping it will go well, you feel the pain afterwards, and then you wake up to find out you only broke up in your dreams. Ah! Imagine the discouragement. Putting aside for a moment the fact that you still need to tell your significant other that they have been dumped, aren't you emotionally satisfied, aren't you done with the relationship? Other than the relaying of information that needs to take place, your psyche has taken care of the rest.
As I pondered this phenomenon, I began to realize that the power behind emotional task completion could perhaps be used in other scenarios to the benefit of one's waking life. All those worries we could emotionally complete and put behind us? Perhaps that's what forgiveness is about--without an apology or action from the other person, we ourselves emotionally let go? Or more simply with vices--eating chocolate, drinking, watching TV--we could emotionally let ourselves have some, but not actually indulge and feel just as fulfilled, perhaps more so since we know we didn't give in. Interestingly enough, I recently watched an episode of Ally McBeal, where one of the characters used to drink 3 martinis everyday after work. It became a detriment to his life so instead he would go to the same bar, order the 3 martinis, but instead of drinking them, he would imagine drinking them and imagine the relaxation he used to experience while he drank them. Essentially, he emotionally drank them, and that is all the character really needed.

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